Tears and Silken Sheets
by blueey
Summary: KxH Oneshot. Lying alone on their bed, Haruhi thinks that enough, is enough.


Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran host club

Haruhi turned over, trying to find a comfortable position on the expansive bed, but no matter how smooth the silk sheets were, or how fluffy the pillows were, she just could not sleep. The bed was cold, because he wasn't there.

He wasn't home. Again.

_I just don't have any place in your world anymore eh, Kyoya?_ Haruhi thought to herself casually. Her heart clenched painfully and she felt the hot prickle of tears behind her eyelids at the thought. Sniffing, she blinked back her tears and told herself that she had to be strong, had to face the facts.

_I've had enough._ Throwing the covers off her, Haruhi got out of bed and walked to her closet, where she pulled out a small travel bag started packing some clothes.

_I'm tired of sitting here and waiting for you everyday when I know you won't come home. _Slipping out form her pajamas, Haruhi changed into a comfortable shirt and jeans. Her bag made a light rustling sound as she picked it up. With long brisk strides she crossed over to the study which she and Kyoya shared to pick up her laptop and her important documents. Packing those into her working bag, she reached for her hand phone. As she picked it up, the bell at the end of her hand phone strap made a soft jingle, but it echoed in Haruhi's ears like the ringing of a dozen church bells.

It was the hand phone strap that Kyoya had given her when they had met in university. The scene replayed itself in Haruhi's mind as if it happened yesterday…

"_Kyoya –senpai!" called Haruhi in surprise as she spotted a familiar profile under a tree, reading a book. Haruhi crossed the distance between them hurriedly, anxious to see whether it really was the Shadow King of the Ouran Host Club._

"_Haruhi," acknowledged Kyoya, adjusting his glasses. He didn't look surprised to see here there. "I kind of expected to see you here, as this university offers one of the best law courses."_

_Haruhi smiled. It was still the same old Kyoya-senpai, notebook and all. "It's nice seeing you again, senpai." A familiar face in this new environment was a very good thing indeed. After all, Haruhi had never been overseas in her entire life._

_Kyoya and Haruhi were both very busy with their studies, but they saw each other often. One day, just before their finals, Kyoya took Haruhi aside._

_"Is it anything important Kyoya-senpai? I'd like to go home and study for my exam tomorrow," complained Haruhi, looking a bit annoyed as she followed Kyoya into the university grounds while consulting her exam timetable. Kyoya smiled at how she was still calling him senpai even though they had graduated a long time ago and they were not in Japan anymore. _

_"I won't be long," replied Kyoya, and suddenly he came to a halt. Haruhi, who still had her nose buried in her timetable, collided with Kyoya's back lightly, and when she looked up she found herself under a familiar tree. _

_It was the tree where she had found him under at the beginning of the semester._

_"Haruhi." Kyoya's quiet voice drifted across to her. Turning to him questioningly, Haruhi saw that Kyoya had a rather strange expression on his face- he looked both embarrassed and resolved. Suppressing her giggles, Haruhi touched his arm._

_"Are you alright senpai? You look a bit strange," asked Haruhi, when suddenly she heard a soft jingle. Kyoya was holding out a hand phone strap – a tiny braid of blue and white string with a silver bell at the end. Haruhi looked at the hand phone strap then at Kyoya, who looked as if he was trying very, very hard not to look in another direction. Confused, Haruhi looked up at Kyoya for an explanation._

_"For you. It's supposed to be good luck, for the exams," said Kyoya evenly, but Haruhi knew that he had put a lot of effort into this._

_"Thank you, and good luck to you too, senpai," said Haruhi softly._

_The next day, Kyoya woke up to see a small box outside his dorm door. Opening it he found a small string of colourful lucky stars with a tiny tag at the bottom saying "good luck!" in a neat script that was undoubtedly Haruhi's. Kyoya felt like he could pass any exam with flying colours. _

_And that was how it all began…_

Haruhi felt a warm tear slide down her cheek. With shaky hands she untied the bell from her phone and unclasped the platinum chain around her neck which held her wedding band. Setting the two items on Kyoya's table, she took a deep breath, steeling her resolve.

_I have to do this for myself. _As Haruhi reached to open the door, they swung open abruptly, and she found herself staring into a pair of steely black eyes she knew all too well. Looking away, Haruhi felt Kyoya's eyes scan her from top to toe. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she saw his eyes darting to his desk, where the bell her wedding band were shining in the moonlight. Confusion and hurt crept onto his normally stoic face and at that moment, Haruhi hated herself for doing this to him. But that thought was quickly cast aside when she recalled the times when he left her alone. Hesitantly, Kyoya laid a hand on Haruhi's shoulder but she quickly shrugged him away. She could see his hands balling into fists at his sides, his nails digging hard into his palms. A few awkward moments passed. Deliberately avoiding his eyes, Haruhi picked up her luggage and moved to walk out of the door when-

BANG!

Kyoya's hand shot out, slamming against the hard wood of the door, creating a barrier preventing her escape. Haruhi felt her anger bubbling within her. He obviously had no time for her in his busy life. What would it matter if she left?

"Let me go," said Haruhi softly, a dangerous edge evident in her voice.

"No." said Kyoya steadily. Haruhi fixed Kyoya with the deadliest glare she could muster.

"Let. Me. Go. No-" her threat died in her throat as Kyoya enveloped her in a bone crushing hug. His fingers had fisted themselves in the material of her shirt and he clutched on to her as if she was his life raft in a stormy sea. The sight of Kyoya so vulnerable almost broke Haruhi resolve.

Don't do this Kyoya," whispered Haruhi, untangling herself from his tight embrace. "Just-"

"Why?" asked Kyoya, his voice rough with emotion. Haruhi just smiled at him sadly. Picking up her fallen luggage, she moved toward the door and gave Kyoya one last look- his expression was of hurt confusion and as she took one more step, she saw the mad desperation in eyes and the next moment she knew she was tipping backwards, falling to the floor. With a dull thud, they landed on the carpeted floor, Haruhi on her back and Kyoya caging her body with his, very much like that summer night at the Ohtori summer house so many years ago…

"Why?" Kyoya demanded again.

"_Why _don't you figure that out yourse-" For the second time that night Haruhi did not finish her sentence as Kyoya put his lips over hers. Haruhi's heart skipped at the sensation. How long had she waited to feel this feeling again?

_No, I can't give in now! _ Kyoya deepened the kiss, nibbling her lower lip as if asking for permission to enter.

_But I love you too much, Kyoya…_Were Haruhi's last thoughts as she closed her eyes and succumbed to Kyoya's kiss, a lone tear trailing down her cheek.

Later that night, Haruhi awoke to find herself on the bed, Kyoya's strong arms around her waist. His eyes were closed his hair was tousled. Haruhi smiled at the picture. She loved to see Kyoya when he was like this- free of his responsibilities and ambitions.

Bringing her hand to caress Kyoya's face she whispered "I love you so much Kyoya…but I'm starting to wonder: do you still love me?" Suddenly, Kyoya's eyes fluttered open, and Haruhi gasped as he stared straight into her eyes. Without warning he dropped a tender kiss on her lips.

"I'm sorry. I'll try harder," he whispered almost inaudibly before holding her closer and drifting back to sleep.

_I know you will..._thought Haruhi. _And I'll try harder too. For you._

_A/N : _A spur of the moment fic while I was reading my star wars novel. I have no idea how that helped me write this fic. Sorry if the characs seemed a bit OOC. _  
_


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